my little princess cat, loro, was “fixed” monday. it absolutely broke my heart.
i understood the reasons why i should have this procedure done-but it still fills my stomach with bricks when i think of this choice i have made for her.
this isnt the first time i have had to do this. my male cat, hollin, was neutered. yes, i felt horrible. but it wasnt as heart wrenching as loros.
i guess it is hitting me more because i have deprived her of bearing little ones.
there was a question on one of the many forms i filled out on her surgery day.. it read: “if your animal is pregnant would you like us to go through with the procedure?”
i circled no.it wasnt even a thought for me. it was an instinct.
i guess this speaks a lot about my views on abortion which was a topic i was never really concerned about. i knew my view. i knew i wouldnt have the heart to abort my own child. i knew i would take on my responsibilies. it didnt matter if i were broke. homeless. i would work my ass off to make a life for my baby.
i feel as though i am getting off topic. this whole process has made me rethink the possession of animals. i dont mean all animals. i mean cats and dogs. we bred them. they are a creation of man. selected, bred and available to the masses. man creates breeds regardless of the health issues the animal must face its entire life: squished noses, bad backs.. we created them.
with all of these thoughts pouring in my mind i suddenly felt horrible. i felt like i was feeding the system. i felt like i had made the worst decision to take part in animal ownership.
dont get me wrong. i love my two cats. i probably spend more time with them then my friends or family. i dont believe that cats are “easier” to care for than dogs. if you get a cat for your entertainment because you think that require less attention/care then you should really think twice about the person you are.we play multiple times a day, running around our apartment, hiding and finding each other, we cuddle, have staring contests, share food, build cardboard box forts. anyone who knows me knows my love for my cats. i know my cats feel the love. i know it when i wake up to them purring in my face like they have been patiently awaiting that moment for hours. when i go to bed and they follow behind me, finding a nest in our bedroom to snuggle up in. or when i am forced to move over so hollin can have his spot on the couch.. yes, he has a spot. when they are staring up at the ceiling, at a fly or speck of light, going insane because they can’t reach it-i scoop them up in my arms and bring them as close as i can get to it.
my point in this is that i guess i really dont have a point. i have a lot of thoughts about animal possession which i had never really thought of before. the decisions we are faced as animal owners. the vaccines, the spaying/neutering and the choice to have them frolic outside or stay strictly indoors.it all began to feel very unnatural and uncomfortable to me.
im just rambling, really. if you have read up to this point, bless your soul and probably tired eyes.
does anyone have any thoughts on this or have you felt the same?
